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You see I just come over this amazing manuscript from..." Can the bullshit," I said rather more forcefully than I intended, "you know that's impossible."He shrugged. "For the sake of friendship and the inquiring mind, are you willing to try an experiment?"I wanted to laugh it away, but he did have two very good reasons for anything there. "Go on! As long as you keep those long explanations to yourself, that is." It's just crap, of course. It won't work. But it shouldn't hurt. The manuscript says something about side effects, but since none of us believe in it anyway..."He had me hooked now, and he knew it. Though I never followed his explorations into the unknown, I definitely felt some strong attraction towards the occult. "What's it all about?" I asked."Well, you said I could not persuade you to regrow your lost finger," he answered. "I know a way that claims to do things like that. It's quite easy actually, just do exactly what I tell you to do!" You wanna bet on it?" No, but. TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST : A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect.PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER : Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER : A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms.PRY BAR : A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50p part.HOSE CUTTER : A tool used to make hoses too short.HAMMER : Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit.STANLEY KNIFE : Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents.
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